so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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