I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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