there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
