yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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