i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
