no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
