Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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