Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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