Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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