So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
