allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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