Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize