your room smells of hookers.
And success
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you win again, gameday.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
