Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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