I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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