What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
