I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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