It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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