ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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