you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
