Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
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I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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