It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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