THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
A+ Viking dick
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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