We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize