Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
