i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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