Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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