He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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