im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize