Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
