today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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