She went from zero to smokin in five shots
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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