He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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