You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
