and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if only i could text you this smell
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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