At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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