i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
