Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
