Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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