apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
