We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
