Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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