Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
