she woke up with a sticky ear
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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