ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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