sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
