I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
