Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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