I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize