i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
