these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
