Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
