Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
