My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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