I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
