I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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