actually, I'm a sock model
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize