alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize