i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
