I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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