Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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