Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Jerry, you need to find god
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
