Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize