yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
