i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
