Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
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But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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