hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
