hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
