just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
we're so committed to being not committed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
