FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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