I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
