I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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